|At nearly 19 inches (48.2cm) Roberto Cabrera’s penis is just two inches shorter than the world’s smallest man. Source: Getty Images|
Some 52-year-old Mexican guy named Roberto Esquivel Cabrera has just set a world record for having the longest schlong – and Guinness World Records won’t even recognize it because there’s no category for that. C’mon Guinness, get with the program.
Lucky for him, the officials at the World Record Academy, on the other hand, did. Ok, so what’s the measurements? Well, the taco warmer measured in at a whopping 18.9 inches (48.2cm), with a tip circumference of 10 inches (25cm), and we’d say that deserved some kind of record!
Mr Cabrera had been hoping for recognition by Guinness World Records but had to settle for the less famous certifier after Guinness confirmed it had no category for penis size.
But having a 19-inch Vlad the Impaler is not all fun and games as Mr. Cabrera expressed in a recent interview, and told how the slit-eyed demon has ruined his life, preventing him from having a relationship and even getting a job.
“Look where it is, it goes far below the knees,” Mr Cabrera said.
“I cannot do anything, I cannot work, and I am disabled so I want authorities to declare me as a disabled person and give me support.”
Women were too frightened to have sex with him, so he had never had a long-term girlfriend, let alone a wife.
|The real deal: An X-Ray of Mr Cabrera’s 48.2cm penis, which hangs down below his knees Source: Getty Images|
Mr. Cabrera lives alone in a room offered to him by his brothers and gets by on social assistance and scavenges for food and materials in garbage dumps. Sadly, he has no friends and says people even “shun” him wherever he goes.
He was deported from the US in 2011 to Saltillo, in north-eastern Mexico and before his record became official, Mr. Cabrera had a medical examination of his manhood to support his application for disability. Yes, the scan is genuine.
Some experts have suggested Mr Cabrera consider a shaft reduction operation but it is not clear what his thoughts are on the subject.
By the way, the previous record holder for penis length, American Johan Falcon, has nothing on Roberto. His 13.38 inch meat scepter (34cm) was dwarfed by Mr Cabrera’s. As a matter of fact, it is said that journalists have compared the size of the Mexican’s penis to that of a horse and a rounders’ bat. But the most helpful visual has come from the Daily Star, who pointed out that the smallest man ever documented was just two inches taller — or longer — than Mr Cabrera’s unfortunate appendage.
Mr Cabrera’s story and struggle for help is to be published in a book called El Sordido Pudor, which translates as “Sordid Shyness”.